How do you help a person who is living with mental illness and does not want help?

This question reveals part of the answer. It may be what you want for them, yet at the same time you must still respect what they want. First of all, you can certainly pray that God would, in His compassion, bring His grace to the person. However, it should be noted that some individuals will not be open to prayer and it may be best to pray from a distance. Here are some quick and practical tips:

Build trust by showing your support and listening. Trust is the platform by which change can occur. Be available. Express your concern and empathy, talk openly and make sure that your friend or family member knows that he/she is not alone. The most important thing you can do is offer and be available if/when they need it, and to really hear them. You can leverage this trust with the treatment options you are ready and armed with, once your loved one is ready to obtain care.

Ask what you can do to help. You can leave this open-ended (“I want to know how I can best support you.”) or suggest specific tasks that might be helpful (“Can I drive you to your appointment?”). Then, be sure to show up and follow through! Remember, you are trust building.

Reassure your friend or family member that you still care about him/her. Even if he/she doesn’t always feel like talking or spending time together, it can be a comfort just to know that he/she has friends that care. A forceful approach usually will not bring the outcome you want.

Educate yourself about your friend or family member’s specific disorder. This can help you to know what to expect and to discover what options are available for care.

Support your friend or family member’s healthy behaviors in practical ways.

Ensure safety and draw healthy boundaries for yourself. Make sure that you are staying healthy and shed yourself of any resentment, guilt or shame that you may be carrying for what you cannot see happening with your loved one. That’s not for you to carry, just be there when they need you and support them as best you can.

If you’re concerned about someone, start by talking with the person. If they are open to receiving help, then connect them with a professional. Just as you would likely go to an oncologist for cancer or a dermatologist for skin sensitivities, mental illness should be treated by a mental health professional.